Blog & News

Limerick research trip for Displace – Katie O’Kelly

 

There’s nothing quite like the bright lights of Obamaplaza on the road to Limerick from Dublin. It’s shiny, warm glow and astonishingly wide range of Obama souvenirs and trinkets always heralds that the journey is nearly over. On the way home from gigs in the Belltable in the past it has frequently been the provider of supermacs and road trip snacks for hungry actors. Last Thursday was no different, as we pulled in to its majestic car park on our research trip to Limerick City.

The trip was to show the team that I am working on my new play ‘Displace’ with some of the places that inspired the story. So at 9am I picked up dramaturg Pamela McQueen, director Sarah Baxter, movement director Bryan Burroughs and producer Clara Purcell in Dublin and we set off.

As a relatively new driver, most of my attention went on making sure I didn’t go up any one-way streets the wrong way while in the city, but once we were out on the road it was great to get to chat about theatre, the Belltable residency and some of the people I have met as part of my research.

The play is about a fictional Magdalene laundry building in Limerick that has been turned in to a modern day Direct Provision centre for asylum seekers while they wait for their application to be processed. This process can take years, and asylum seekers are left in a system where they are not allowed to work, not allowed to cook their own food, and given €21.60 a week. The price of two supermac meals in Obamaplaza, or a couple of keyrings with I heart Ireland on them.

When we reached Limerick, our first port of call was the Limerick School of Art and Design, what used to be the old Good Shepherd Laundry. It was amazing to see the building that I had read so much about transformed into a completely different setting, but with so much of the old laundry aesthetic still evident.

You can tell what parts of the building were the nuns’ quarters and what were the parts for the women incarcerated

there by the difference in design – some corridors have parquet wood on the floors and walls, while other areas are covered in old 1950s lino.

 

The team couldn’t believe how much of it was still there. The windows high up in the walls in some of the old laundry rooms meant that if you were one of the women working there you weren’t even allowed to look out. Given no indication of how long you would be there, cut off from the world, much like the people left in the modern day direct provision system.

We went in to the exhibition gallery, which used to be the old chapel in the grounds of the laundry. Here, the women would be brought in for Mass and seated on one side of the building while the children from the orphanage would sit in another part. There are accounts of the women craning to catch a glimpse of their child that had been taken from them and put in the orphanage, while the mothers worked only a short distance away in the steaming heat of the laundry. It was very affecting to be in the silence of that room, with its ornate marble and gold mosaic on the walls, and think of the suffering that those women were put through. It’s haunting.

Next we visited Marketa in Belltable before a very delicious lunch in Hook and Ladder – Bryan said he became a regular there when he was in Angela’s Ashes the Musical, and we can see why! Lovely food and a very nice atmosphere, we’ll definitely be heading back there for sure :-).

After lunch we visited a friend of mine in one of the direct provision centres in Limerick. I won’t say which one as I want to be sure nothing happens because of it – this is all part of the system, of keeping people separated and afraid of what can happen if you cause ‘trouble’. It’s shocking to visit these centres though, many of them are old religious buildings that have repurposed to house asylum seekers, out in the middle of nowhere and with extremely limited transport in to the city. If you get the bus in to town, it leaves at 9:30am and you won’t be able to go back until the return bus at 5:30pm. That’s a fecking long wait.

Some of the centres have an air of Stepford about them, with everything looking nice but something not quite right at the same time. The ones with children have playrooms for example, but the toys aren’t used and frequently the door in to the room is locked. There are no children to be seen, a strange feeling in a centre that supposedly houses 70 little ones.

In another centre that I went to, I was the first person to sign the visitors book in 2018. Two people had signed in last year, and five in 2016. How are people supposed to integrate in to the community, one of the things they look for when assessing applications, if you are purposely cut off from that community – placed in a big vacant building miles away from the nearest town?

We saw the canteen in this DP centre, the noticeboards of signs saying the rules, and the laundry where half the machines don’t work; the depressed atmosphere of waiting is palpable. The car ride home was very different from the journey down. Everyone was very moved and affected by what we had seen. There was far less chat, it seemed trivial after it somehow. We are determined to try to bring some of what we saw to the stage, to share it with a wider community.

I’ve finished my second draft of the script of ‘Displace’, and am all fired up to start work on the next draft for the reading in the Belltable on 20th June, which marks World Refugee Day.  I’ve never done a reading of a work in progress before, so it will be interesting to see what new ideas are sparked by it, as well as being just a wee bit terrifying! But it’s good to push your comfort zone sometimes, and the warm glow of Obamaplaza will always be there for the supermacs afterwards :-).

Katie O’Kelly, Belltable Artist in Residence 2018

 

International Theatre Exchange – Mags O’Donoghue checks in from Finland

After a long day, leaving Limerick before 4am and with a flight delay to get to know Helsinki Airport very well, I arrived in Oulu Friday night and was greeted by Brent Cassidy, director of the Irish Festival of Oulu. Brent hosted me in his home for two nights. I was able to spend the weekend exploring the area near his house by bike, heading through forest to the beach. On Saturday evening we headed to an Irish session which was amazing and bizarre. It’s odd to be so far north, to be the only Irish person, and to feel almost less Irish than everyone here. It’s definitely making me wish I could play more than ‘Twinkle twinkle’ on the tin whistle. Brent is fluent in Irish so it’s lovely to be able to speak a bit again, though I’ll admit I’m struggling with his Ulster Irish tongue. Flashbacks to that part of the Leaving Cert tape test!

On Sunday I met Anna Kaisa, who will come to Limerick as part of this exchange in November. I’m staying with her now until the festival starts next week. We went to an event at her workplace where we ate and watched some Finnish Improv Comedy. Luckily I got a running English commentary from her as so far in Finnish I can only say hello, goodbye, milk, gluten free and bag (and the odd expletive!).

Monday was the first day at the Irish Festival office in Culture Centre Valve. Brent took me on a tour and introduced me to some of the staff members there. It’s an amazing facility with a café, theatre, studios, and offices for various cultural organisations.

It’s been very grey since I arrived so I was really glad to see light today when the sun came out and I took a gorgeous walk around in the evening. The Autumn colours here are spectacular.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday was European Day of Languages and the Irish Festival was invited to perform and have a stand at an event at the nearby shopping centre. Anna Kaisa and I handed out festival programmes and spoke to people about the festival. With my handful of Finnish words and their mostly excellent English I didn’t do too badly. The festival definitely has a good reputation in the area. Almost everyone we spoke with already knew about it. But there are similar struggles here as at home with getting people to attend and especially to book tickets in advance.

The rest of this week was spent preparing the artist packs and itineraries for next week. I’ve been slowly getting to know all the members of the team and am being well looked after by everyone. Anna Kaisa and Asta, the festival producer, took me to sample my first reindeer stew on Thursday so just so everyone knows – I ate it…it’s delicious…sorry Santa!

On Thursday evening the 30 plus volunteers came to a meeting at Valve to go through the schedule and roles. It was a good chance for everyone to meet over pizza and get to know each other and the festival a bit more.

We ended the week by beginning to decorate Valve with an explosion of festival balloons and posters. Slowly taking over the place! I also had a really interesting meeting with the director of Valve, Arja Huotari, who shared loads of information about this great cultural centre they have here. It really is an amazing space for supporting artists with both office, rehearsal and performance space. There are some wonderful photography exhibitions hanging at the moment and the place is always buzzing with visitors to the café and the comic store and with people attending various dance and other classes. It was great to be able to chat to her about Limerick too and the projects we have going on and about the Belltable:Connect programme I’m on. All these international connections are so important to have and this is a really great opportunity to learn how things operate in other countries.

The countdown is on for the festival now. I’ll be taking over the @irishfestoulu Twitter account next week so do follow along there with all the madness of the most northern Irish festival in the world! Hei hei!

Director Sinead Hackett reflects on Fishamble Mentoring Programme

BelltableConnect Fishamble Mentoring Programme, photo by Ken Coleman

Limerick your a lady…….

And so are you Marketa. The boys from Fishamble ain’t so bad either 😉.

All jokes aside, I  just really want to say thank you  for  the  place on the Belltable:Connect mentorship programme.  It was a  valuable experience.

Driving down to Limerick city once a month over the past 10 months to meet and connect with other emerging directors in the Beltable theatre was exciting.  The directors group was hosted by Jim from Fishamble  theatre company, whose manner is so chilled he put us all at ease.

It was full of first times for me and first times can be nerve wrecking. This is my first time to ever blog!!!!!.

But it was also my first time  to ever pitch. My first time to sit in on a mentorship programme, my first time in THE Beltable theatre,  my first time having any connection with Limerick City and my first time meeting all the other young, hip, cool emerging directors and Jim.

Little by little we got to know each other,  our styles, our preference and our projects, through the monthly  meet ups and chats.

It was great. Hopefully we will meet again. Until then onwards and upwards.

Sinead.x

Playwright Niall Carmody on presenting his work to peers

Belltable:Connect Fishamble Mentoring Programme, photo by Ken Coleman

Having spent countless hours among the other mentees, taking and providing criticism (always constructive) on varying projects, we were given the opportunity to present some of our work to professionals in the theatre sector. When preparing a piece of work to present to a room full of strangers I tend to over think the prospect, allowing it to become a monster determined on devouring me. In the session running up to the presentation Gavin posed a question to our group; ‘what do you want from the presentation?’ Sitting amongst the other mentees I thought ‘I just want it over’. I had no definite answer to his question. Visions filled my head on how my work would be received. Images switching sporadically between wads of cash or rotten fruit being thrown from our gathered audience. Both scenarios were equally as terrifying, a face full of fruit would be embarrassing but an influx of capital would bring paralyzing pressure to succeed. The weeks inevitably passed and the day of reckoning flew closer and closer. I decided on presenting Play on Words, a piece that will be shown in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival by Tiger’s Eye Theatre Company. A safe bet, it is a play that is happening anyway it had a run out at the Scene and Heard Festival, it may not be loved but it certainly won’t be hated (hopefully). Box ticked. Job done. Yet Gavin’s question still bothered me, what did I want from the presentation?

On the 20th May, we gathered in the Belltable Hub and soaked up the nervous energy. Each person assuring the next that ‘it’ll be grand’ and ‘it’s no big deal’. We practised the running order with plenty of nervous laughter and awkward timing. There is nothing like a group of strangers to be honest about your art. These were professionals after all, not Mammy and Daddy patronising placing your work on the family fridge. At 2pm we were prepared for battle. Our invited audience filed into their chairs, nobody carried boxes of rotten fruit thankfully. The presentations came and went without any stumbles or issues. As each person finished their presentation the room became lighter and lighter; the cloud of potential screw ups lifted from the room. The relief was palpable, ironic that a group of theatre makers were so jittery about a four-minute presentation. Having completed my own presentation, I relaxed and enjoyed the pitches from my peers. My mind drifted to Gavin’s question, ‘What do you want?’ and it hit me. Sitting amongst representatives of the theatre community, each at different points in their careers, I wanted reassurance that what we are doing is worth it. That you can create art and lead a happy life. That the ‘struggling artist’ title does not have to be a lifetime sentence. And it is possible, it’s not a lifetime sentence. It is by no means a simple task, but it is possible. It is easy to become fatigued and disheartened working in theatre as you constantly struggle for employment and funding. I have gone through stages of bitter self-doubt when attempting to justify my career choice to friends and family.

The presentations carried out on the 20th May gave an insight into differing theatre projects, but more importantly for me it revitalised my passion for the art. If a room full of intelligent and talented individuals see the worth in pursuing their passion, then I owe it to myself to do the same. We push ourselves to the point of self-destruction to pursue our passion, and we always survive. That’s the fun in theatre, that’s the fun in living.

Director Róisín Stack checks in from KunstenFestivalDesArtes, Belgium

BelltableConnect Fishamble Mentoring Programme, photo by Ken Coleman

This is my second attempt at a blog post. The first was written a few days after a run of a show I’d directed. I was writing about the post-show bubble and how difficult it is to review your own work without letting other people’s opinions, good and bad, influence your relationship with it, yet how necessary it is to reflect on the whole experience in order to move on to the next thing.

I didn’t submit that blog because the more I read it, the more critical I became of it (which was fitting giving the subject matter) so I decided I’d wait and write again while away on an upcoming trip which might give me a new perspective.

Now I am on that trip, in Belgium, attending shows in Brussels as part of KunstenFestivalDesArtes, and in Ghent to explore the work of Ontroerend Goed. The work I have seen so far is a mixture of performance art and political interactive theatre. Some of it I have found quite inaccessible – it seemed more about the artists’ intellectual ideas as opposed to the execution of a piece that left room for an audience.

The shoe is on the other foot now, as I experience, interpret and judge the work of others, just a couple of weeks after churning over how to take praise and criticism of my own. I’m looking at these performances as an audience member, a [sensitive] critic and a theatre maker. I find hope in the things I don’t like, because I feel I can do better, and I find inspiration in the things I do like because it makes me want to be a better artist.

The work I have seen here traverses a line between stage and spectator, performance art and theatre, science and philosophy, film and lecture. These are not theatre pieces as such but happenings, protests, experiences, live art. I realise that although I talk about the desire to make theatre which is unpredictable and disruptive, I still want my work to involve skill, heart, aesthetic and a sense of artistry. Much of what I have seen here does not have that – the idea is the piece, rather than central to it; the execution seems disregarded and this is where I encounter a tension within myself.

I feel quite lucky that I can come away here and have these experiences and reflections. It’s great to be able to go and see work outside of Ireland as it informs my perspective and reminds me that it’s all relative. Last year I attended a workshop in London where participants complained about how theatre in the UK is too traditional, yet often in Ireland we regard theatre in the UK as being progressive (and obviously there are many organisations there which are). On the other side of that, this year I’m experiencing work which is so untraditional, it makes me wonder where the line is between accessibility and experimentalism. So much of this depends on audiences, on the appetite for the arts in any given place. Who am I making the work for? What am I responding to?

I’m not altogether sure where this leaves me in relation to my own theatre making and the post post-show bubble. The piece I recently directed was not experimental but it afforded me the opportunity to try out some simple yet potentially risky ideas, to work with somebody else’s script and a smaller cast. All of these elements of the traditional theatre process gave me secure conditions in which to create work and as such I learned an awful lot about directing. For my next piece, I plan to write it myself but leave room for collaboration and devising, working with a small cast and drawing on elements of Dadaism and post-dramatic theatre. A few weeks ago, I might have thought I was proposing something cutting edge but by European standards, this is nothing new – this is old hat. And that’s OK. I’m not making this piece for KunstenFestivalDesArtes and while I’m glad to have another context in which to place what I want to do, I’m not going to change my perspective to try to be relevant.

It’s great to be reminded that I’m not creating in isolation, in my own community, or my own country, but surrounded by continents of artists and a whole world of audiences. It’s quite freeing to think beyond my own perceptions of what theatre is and the possibility of where it could take me.

On the plane home I came across an extract from the writings of WH Auden and was reminded that reflection, self-criticism and authenticity are age-old struggles (I also thought it would make me sound very learned to conclude my blog with a quote from a poet):

”[Every writer] needs approval of his work by others in order to be reassured that the vision of life he believes he has had is a true vision and not a self-delusion but he can only be reassured by those whose judgement he respects . . . No writer can ever judge exactly how good or bad a work of his may be, but he can always know, not immediately perhaps, but certainly in a short while, whether something he has written is authentic – in his handwriting – or a forgery”

Brendan Griffin – Writers’ Mentoring Programme

Belltable:Connect Fishamble Mentoring Programme, photo by Ken Coleman

“Not so easy being a fly on the wall”

Fly 1                            They don’t mind getting up on a Saturday morning, I’ll say that for them.

Fly 2                            They are only here one Saturday in a month? They could well be sleeping the hell out of all the other Saturdays.

Fly 1                            True. True enough.

Fly 2                            We’ve ruled out Zumba, yoga, choir. Not a step, stretch or a note between them.

Fly 1                            Not a one. And we’ve also knocked in the head a water protest group.

Fly 2                            I think so. They have the enthusiasm alright, plenty fire in the belly, but they are way way too happy to be as a water protest group.

Fly 1                            I was sure they were a prayer group at the beginning. The way they all sat in a circle. And they have a shared reverence to something.

Fly2                             If only they occasionally closed their eyes or looked upward I would have given you the prayer group.

Fly 1                            And you are sure, not a political party? There is a leader, they share literature, there’s loads of discussion?

Fly2                             Has anyone walked out in a huff, banged a door? Has anyone been stabbed in the back?

Fly1                             Not that I noticed.

Fly 2                            We can definitely rule out a political party.

Fly 1                            And you have also given up on the community group idea?

Fly2                             For a time I was fooled by the obvious common purpose of the group. But has anyone said, “through the chair”, “point of order”?

Fly1                             Nope.

Fly2                             And a community group would certainly have talked at this stage about holding a raffle or a cake sale.

Fly1                             True.

Fly2                             They are a tough group to crack for sure.

Fly1                             Not to mind mentioning the parallel world…

Fly2                             Stop. Stop right there. Haven’t we enough mystery on our plate besides bringing up the group next door?

Fly1                             We have.  We have for sure.

Fly2                             I need a break.  Want to head down to that sugar bowl?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Director Carol O’Donovan on confidence

Belltable:Connect Fishamble Mentoring Programme, photo by Ken Coleman

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect when I went through the doors of the Belltable way back in September for the start of the Director’s Mentoring programme with Fishamble. I was nervous and daunted but I decided to take the plunge and see where it might lead. Once I got there and mingled with the other participants I instantly knew that I was among like-minded souls.

They say you are only as good as your network (or something like that!!!) and the one thing I have gotten from these monthly sessions over the last eight months is a sense of belonging , support and being in a room with people who get the same things as I do. We are all so busy in our own creative corners that I think we often forget there are other people out there doing exactly what we are doing – taking a script or an idea and creating something unique and individual from it.  A rehearsal room can be a creative, energising place but it can also be a scary one if people are always looking to you for the answers.  My approach to directing has always been collaborative. I believe the best ideas come when actors, directors and often writers work together and have a shared vision of the goal.

I have always felt insecure about calling myself a Director as I studied Law in college and not Theatre. I am studying Theatre now so you could say I am doing things back to front!! There is such a diverse range of backgrounds and experience in the group that I come away from each session buzzing with new ideas and approaches. But most importantly I leave with a little more confidence in my right to call myself a director.  I am trying to take my first steps in writing and always have a spurt of creativity after leaving the Belltable on Saturday afternoon!!!

It has also been a joy to meet the playwrights and feel the energy and enthusiasm they have for their writing. Writers have always been my heroes as I am in awe of how they write dialogue which sadly is a skill I have yet to master.

This has been a fantastic journey and my confidence has grown in leaps and bounds since it began.  I would hope the participants will stay in contact when it comes to an end as getting to know you all has been an absolute pleasure.

Puppeteer Emma Fisher about her playwrighting journey for Pupa

Typically I picked March to write my blog as it was when my show Pupa was on, not thinking that yes my show Pupa is on and thus I would have no time. I was delighted to get to be part of the mentorship playwriting program with Gavin Kostick and also very nervous. I have never really written a script, for other Beyond the Bark shows (my puppet company), I would be writing a story, story boarding and then generally we would play. Surrounded by actual play writes on my first day I felt very much in disguise posing as a playwright. I was soon to discover that this talented group of writers that sat around me felt the same, we where all hiding in plain sight, wolves in sheep clothing and over the course of the mentorship all coming out as proud playwriting wolves, Emma trying to be clever and get the metaphor’s we talked about this month into her blog post. Aptly sat in a circle for our play writes support group.

When I started to write my play Pupa , I had several years of research (as Pupa is part of my PhD) and now was time to just get on with it. I used the first exercise Gavin gave us to write three scenes to start Pupa and so my mentoring journey and my playwriting began. Since then we have been assigned a new writing assignment every month which I have thoroughly enjoyed. I feel now I can call myself a puppet playwright. Coincidently a few days after I started the mentorship program I went to Slovakia to a puppet festival and met a puppet play write, I was astonished this was her only job. Puppetry was such a presence seeped in history in main land Europe that you could make a living writing plays for puppetry.

The mentorship led me to apply and do The New Play Clinic with Fishamble lending my whole team the opportunity to develop Pupa further with Gavin. All of these things circled around Belltable. 69 O’Connel Street being the perfect place to put on a puppet play that had so much of my story in it, as it was my great grandfather Michael Gough that at the turn of the 1900 converted it into an Opera house then known as Coliseum. (fun fact)

This months assignment was to write a poem with metaphors about a person. Wait a second I am just comfortable writing short puppet plays, a poem !! I can see Paul smiling from the corner of my eye. Our two time all Ireland poetry champion. I have always enjoyed writing poems, showing them on the other hand not so much. I struggled to keep away from the cheesy. As much as I love cheese. We were to talk about a person. One person seeps into all I’ve written on the mentorship, my friend Moira. So with her voice in my head and some good advice “you are cheesy deal with it” I dive into a world of metaphors which does not look too dissimilar to the world of puppets I know so well.

Playwright Paul McNamara’s thoughts on Fishamble Mentoring Scheme

Belltable:Connect Fishamble Mentoring Programme, photo by Ken Coleman

The theatre writing course I am involved in as part of Belltable:Connect is not simply a writing course. It is a theatre course.

I have been a writer for a little under twenty years, which may sound impressive but I am only 23 so a lot of my career has well, flown under the radar. For as long as I can remember I have loved to write. From the age of four or five I have loved writing stories and poems. Creative writing assignments in school were an exciting challenge. While I still write poetry and have also in recent years delved into performance poetry to relative success another form of writing has taken over my interest.

Theatre didn’t enter into my life until my first year of college when I got the chance to act and then to work backstage. My first attempt at writing for the stage followed the next year. As part of the Writers’ Society in Mary Immaculate College I wrote numerous short plays which I would often help produce, direct, act in, provide music and lights for… etc. In other words it was quite a small setup. But over a number of years we managed as a group to improve and get bigger and better. We did this by, well, making every mistake possible and learning from them (for the most part anyway.) This led me to writing and producing my first full-length play in college ‘Searching for Rusty.’ Searching for Rusty was probably, for me at least, the pinnacle of my experience in college theatre. After that I was ready to try and enter in the real world and try to write outside of college. I was ready to write. I was excited. I also had absolutely no idea what to do, how to do it or where to find answers. Until…

Belltable:Connect entered into my life at the perfect time. I wanted to write and work in theatre but I didn’t know how. This was my way in. The course wasn’t going to do everything for me but it has given me the opportunity to learn from my mentor Gavin, my fellow writers, many of whom have a wealth of experience, and also the directors in the other course. I have gotten to learn about play structure, about character building, how to effectively critique a play. Also, very importantly, I learned how to effectively take critique and understand why certain kinds of feedback are given.

When I said at the start of this piece that the course is not simply a writing course it is a theatre course I meant it. The interaction we have with the directors, industry professionals and each other teach much more than just writing. The classes don’t just teach you how to write they try and help you understand the place of the writer in theatre. How to work with directors, managers, actors etc. and how you must realise all theatre is collaboration and everyone has a role in the creative process.  This class for me has been a great aid in transitioning away from college theatre. I have got to meet and learn from so many great up and coming writers and directors. I have made connections that could lead to collaboration. The course has allowed a network of young writers and directors to come together and I cannot wait to see what everyone will accomplish both individually and hopefully in many cases as teams comprising of the people we have met here. After almost twenty years of writing (15 off which my parents and relatives were my only readers) I have a hell of a lot left to learn but this course has been a great start.

-Paul McNamara

Writer Louise Holian on being part of Belltable:Connect

Belltable:Connect Fishamble Mentoring Programme, photo by Ken Coleman

This mentorship in Belltable came along at a time last September when I really needed a lifeline,-applications for everything between day jobs & arts stuff were coming back ‘No’s’ time and time again and I was feeling very deflated so when I got the email to say I had got a place on the course, my whole self just lit up and there were, I’m not embarrassed to say, a few tears as I sat rereading it over and over again ready to burst with a joy that just invaded my everything.  I needed someone to recognise the potential in me that I know I have as a writer person thing and maybe to take a bit of a punt too and Gavin did that in choosing me to be part of the 12 so I’ll always be thankful to him for that.  Soon after starting this course I found out whilst being glued to my Gmail – a daily routine, I had also got a place on The Next Stage – another artist development initiative as part of The Dublin Theatre Festival and I know this would not have happened if I hadn’t got the place on the playwrighting course so one definitely happened as a result of the other. I was back in the land of happy and hope and ’I am part of this’ – in the room and on an equal footing with people a few months before I never thought I would be.

Living a bit out in the shticks of Co. Galway, I can sometimes feel a bit on the outside or the only ‘creative in the village’ as a writer/performer full of ideas and wanting  people to play / explore with ; staring out the window hugging my mug of  builders tae , sitting not content  at the table ‘trying to write’ – feeling  a bit lost betimes  with the ‘am I writer if I’m not writing, am I an actor if not acting, should I just go and work in a shop and stop codding meself debacle. So a journey to Limerick once a month, off the bus and in the doors of the Belltable at 9.30 on a Saturday morning, a coffee and let’s get stuck in, is to me a joyous relief and release and where I fit really – It’s there with my extremely talented group that I realise my gut feelings are right- I do have a contribution to make in the arts arena – I need to get out, make things happen, persist and make my mark cause no one else will do it for me. Life and ourselves can get in our own way sometimes and the thing we are meant for we can run away from or have to in some cases cause the rent needs paying etc but what I find this course is giving me as the months progress on aside from technical skills and meeting my peers which is a massive part of the good stuff is, it connects me and reconnects me, I feel rooted – an Anchor I think is the word. So regardless of any other goings on or noise in my life when I’m there, I’m present and I’m a writer (fuck it I said it ha ) and most importantly I’m me.

The few hours seem to tick by in a heartbeat and I’m walking away’ back into a busy Limerick Street/ soundscape with a sudden ‘oh it’s over ‘haze feeling.  I want more, more of those few hours all the time, more ‘challenge me’ , more time with those people in my group I’m getting  increasingly intrigued by with every meeting,  more let me into the theatre space to play and create , more who are these directors in the room next door …. I just want to live in it- this world and not outside it if that makes sense.  Bring on next time :-).